Charmed Life

Gretheline Genciana Ramos-Bolandrina

Writers

"Why do writers write? Because it isn't there."

For as long as I can remember, I always wanted to be a writer, just like my Dad. Never mind that I didn't have my mind set on what to write. Just my words in print, something about that. Words floating around, find their way of grouping together in my head, I had to write them down or they'd be too crowded in there! I discovered poetry in High School. Had my first published poem when I was 15, I think. It was in our school paper, the Reservoir. I did win a school-wide poetry contest once, too bad I didn't keep copies of my work. Did a mock newsletter in College for my "Barkada" (CEV News) just an escape from the sciences, theories and rigors of Nursing classes. And I wrote, in my journals, to friends, to my pen pals, to my Aunts and Uncles abroad. And I wrote. I consider myself, to this day, an aspiring writer. A wannabe.

In 1989, my first big dollar purchase from my first paycheck as an RN in Boston, was a word processor! It was a Smith Corona. A light gray, portable, non-imposing piece of electronic equipment. I saved some work on a floppy. I pounded away on that sturdy thing. What joy! I did my letters, chronicles of my adventures as a newbie in the hub. I covered Fil-Am community events, gratis of course. Sent stories to Fil-Am newspapers. Eventually, I found readers in Nursing magazines too. My first paid piece ($75), "Coming To America" published in the New England Nursing Spectrum even had my gleaming photo. Though it is said, "writers should be read, but neither seen nor heard" my photo actually won the photographer, Kuni Takayashi an award! At one point, I was a member of Barnes and Noble book club. We did critiques of our work. Talk about being on a hot seat. I still dream of one day writing a book. In the late 90's I attended a book writers and illustrators conference in RI with my friend Mariesol. It was a blast, more than enough to keep my writing enthusiasm going. I took a journalism class in summer 2001 at Harvard. Tito Terry gave me my biggest break by asking me to write regularly for his web site and eventually for his Planet Philippines publication. I still don't claim to be a writer. I adore my most recent acquisition, a press pass. Very official, with photo, signed and laminated. I'm all smiles.

What are my intentions behind my writing? What are my responsibilities as a writer? To date, I am in search of answers. A woman known to us wrote that her "11 year old daughter's personal journal, posted on a web site, was read, extracted OUT OF CONTEXT, and circulated to many people." And this woman was eager and ready to assign blame to her perceived ignoble act. Far be it for her to check within herself or even her daughter as to why a personal journal is posted on a web site. She wants to be read? She just wants to write? Searching for answers. I've been lectured that as a writer "you should understand that you're not only responsible for the intentions behind your writing, but how your words are actually received. If you can't open yourself to the reception of your readers, how can you ever hope to grow as a writer?" This from someone close to my heart. It didn't pertain to any of my published work but to an e-mail communication gone awry. Writing this column is a step towards my dream as an aspiring writer. I am being read. I am communicating my thoughts. An American nursing colleague, Sue Racitti is subscribing to Planet Philippines and I told her, "Sue, it's a Fil-Am newspaper" and she responded with "I like what you write, that way, I get to read your column and share it with others." She even wrote on her subscription request, "I'm subscribing because I like the way Grethel writes and have benefited from a beautiful article she wrote." Very flattering! The way I see it, I am responsible for what I write, my words, I stand behind them. How they are received is another story. I write because, it is there.

Feel free to e-mail me reactions, comments and or suggestions for ideas to ponder. Contact me at Gretheline@aol.com or through Carousel Productions.