Charmed Life by Gretheline Bolandrina

Tom Stoppard said it, The Real Thing, and it is the real thing indeed! I started writing this on the cold evening of Valentine's Day, 2007. My husband of 16 years busy updating our calendars (synchronized Franklin planners) and this year's version of Outlook Calendar on our desktop. Valentine 07 falling on a weekday, Wednesday, smack in the middle of the week, day of hearts not withstanding, a furious winter storm has pounded our neck of the woods with everything from heavy snow to serious icing to heavy rain all morning long. Midday, when Joe was still at work, Gino (12) and I ended up clearing the driveway. My first ever manual snow-shoveling-almost-the-entire-driveway-experience. I already told Joe my shoveling was part of his Valentine present! Whose big idea was it to have a long driveway? Good thing we didn't make plans to go out that evening. My biceps ached. Dinner wasn't extraordinary, the company was. Us, husband, wife and four kids. Filipino style, Kami, Tatay, Nanay, Ate, Kuya, Ditse and Bunso!

Like I mentioned, I started this piece months ago; it is now spring. I wasn't too keen on writing about love. I feel that I am no expert at it. Don't even know if there are real experts out there. We used to joke about Joe being Dr. Love since he was quick to give his perceptions on relationships. But then again, I really didn't have to be an expert, didn't have to find an expert. I just look at the examples around me, my own Mom and Dad. My mother's patience, my father's presence. My in-laws, (Tima's strength, Am's principles) my older sisters (Ate Grace's cheerfulness, Kazu's reserve). My friends (way too many to mention) and coworkers. My students and even my patients. There's always that something that made relationships work. Even the second, third or fourth time around. It isn't when life is smooth sailing that love is so visible but when there are trials. For us, during pregnancy (all four), homebuying (twice, so far), long plane rides (San Francisco, Las Vegas, Manila; not necessarily in that order). Accidents (the oops, mountainbiking related), car crashes (they hit us!), overdrawn accounts (another oops) mistakes (not just erasable), kids' illness and our own. Somehow, we survive it all and we're still together. I remember when I first realized what it meant to love someone in spite of (not so perfect attributes). And not loving someone only because of (positive attributes). What of broken relationships? Shattered dreams. Did love fade? Forces of nature? Did the couples give up? I meant it when I said I was no expert. This is something that I have yet to figure out.

Valentine 2007 came and went, as a married couple with four kids, we're beyond material gifts. Though Joe manages to spoil me still, our gifts lean on the practical side. But no less romantic. It is in the way one looks at things. Birkenstocks. White "duck" shoes as my kids call them. Specially ordered at Wellesley's Footstock where my other previous pairs came from. For their price, it's a luxury, an indulgence. But from my husband (and kids) to me, comforting. Thoughtful and of course, goes well with all my scrubs. That somehow, the pair I got was tight (though the right size, 7) and had to be returned for a replacement (a special trip). And calls had to be made to follow up and to this day, awaiting delivery, this to me, is love.

Feel free to e-mail me reactions, comments and or suggestions for ideas to ponder. Contact me at Gretheline@aol.com or through Carousel Productions.

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