Charmed Life by Gretheline Bolandrina

"I do not want my house to be walled in on all sides and my windows to be stuffed. I want the cultures of all the lands to be blown about my house as freely as possible. But I refuse to be blown off my feet by any." —Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)

And my other choice for a quote on Culture, “Noble life demands a noble architecture for noble uses of noble men. Lack of culture means what it has always meant: ignoble civilization and therefore imminent downfall.” By Frank Lloyd Wright (1869-1959) My family, friends and I agree that in our own special way, we all live charmed lives. Being a Filipino is America adds to the charm. Being Filipino on the East Coast makes me appreciate my culture all the more. If at all possible, I now concur, I became more Filipino once my feet landed on foreign soil.

I came to Boston as a Registered Nurse from the Philippines in March 1989. In December of that year, at the Wang Center, for the Nutcracker Suite, I met Joseph. We dated, wed, lived the American dream and have recently celebrated 16 years of togetherness. He is my asawa (Tagalog -life partner). Our children, Jessica (15), Gino (13), Lilly (5) and Max (3) are healthy, happy wonderful kids. Even though Joe is of Filipino descent (Dad from Surigao, Mom from Bohol) he was born in Chicago and raised in Massachusetts (plus a few, very early years in New Jersey). I consider my family Filipino-American.

Hence the challenge is on. How to raise Filipino-American children (and husband for that matter) in this neck of the woods? Not that Joe and I have grandiose plans for our children. But we would like to negotiate a balance between my Filipino heritage and the American culture that my children are growing up with. Enter Iskwelahang Pilipino (IP), a weekend cultural school. We all trek to IP every other Sunday. Such a blessing and charm it has been. Instant extended family with tons of Titos and Titas, plus other Filipino-American kids to relate with. Joe insists that at IP, he’s not only a parent but also a student. He tries to learn Tagalog; he grapples with the rapid-fire exchange of pleasantries and has become accustomed to hearing tsismis. I’ve nurtured very loyal friendships, a wonderful support system, even found a soul sister. But we go to IP because we would like our children to grow up reflecting the best of both worlds. We would like for our children to see the value of this IP village. Perhaps even more important, I would like them to be able to appreciate where I come from. Why I am the way I am. It’s difficult for them to see things from my perspective if they do not understand the Filipino culture. Without this knowledge, neither of us can walk the distance in each other’s shoes.

I am a Filipino, and I am proud of my heritage. We strive to keep balance in our children’s lives. We try to make our home reflect our combined cultures. We take part in activities celebrating the Philippine Independence. We laugh, we dance, and we eat rice, adobo and sinigang. We continue living a Filipino-American charmed life.

Feel free to e-mail me reactions, comments and or suggestions for ideas to ponder. Contact me at Gretheline@aol.com or through Carousel Productions.

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