Charmed
Life
Gretheline
Genciana Ramos-Bolandrina
Character
"One's good character is above
everything else; it cannot be essentially injured except by one's own acts"
And so it goes, a female divorcee had an
adulterous relationship with a seemingly happily married man. Call it divine
guidance or holy intervention, the wife finds out, husband terminates
the affair, couple goes through counseling, the roller coaster ride
of rebuilding, and remains together, family intact in spite of the pain and
soul-destroying quality of betrayal. Life goes on, female divorcee moves
on. . . to. . . yet, another married man. This one unfortunately remains
misguided, his family torn apart. Blinded by an evil that he perceives as
happiness. Female divorcee, claiming to be naive, kind and tolerant lashes
out at the first married couple she failed to destroy, demands
a public apology but that didn't work, takes them to court, sheds crocodile
tears, obtains a restraining order. The saga continues. There are innocent
children involved, a whole community in uproar. This is what makes up sad
songs, but this is not even a plot for a movie or a play, it is real
life. The characters, real people. The lives, tainted, shattered, never to
be the same, ever again.
I meant to write about character as in one
of the attributes or features that make up and distinguish an individual.
"The complex of mental and ethical traits marking and often individualizing
a person, group, or nation," as printed in the Merriam-Webster dictionary.
Biologically, any observable feature, or trait, whether acquired (a response
to the environment) or inherited (produced by genes). But, I figure,
with 2005 just around the corner, might as well hit two birds with one
stone.
In third grade, I enjoyed a subject called
GMRC (good morals and right conduct). It was a fun class, first because we
had to discuss issues in English and second, we got to role play a lot of
the lessons. I remember the beautifully illustrated stories in our hardbound
public school books, even have dialogues still memorized to this day. A lesson
on courage, a lost child finding his way home in a busy market approaches
a police officer, starts out with, "I'm lost sir, can you help me?" In the
end, the lost child finds his way home. Our teacher would ask everyone to
give their understanding of the moral of the story. Listening to different
responses made me realize how many different views the same story can evoke.
In college, I had a class on ethics; here the "stories" pertained to our
practice of Nursing.
Life presents us with problems and complex
equations that deal with the human spirit. Oftentimes, the choice between
right and wrong is made. We are compelled to use our conscience, we
validate the choices we make, and search for meaning. We essentially build
our own character. To know ourselves, to make good and proper use of our
consciences, we must know our own personal history. Sadly, so few of us do;
in fact, we nurture no sense of the past. We seem not to learn from our past.
Some don't even learn from the same mistakes; even worse is someone who denies
there are mistakes in life.
Instead of New Year's resolutions, this year,
maybe we should take time to examine our own character. Take full responsibility
for our own actions. Much has been written about rules in life, the Ten
Commandments, the golden rule. There are numerous laws yet somehow, even
the very people meant to protect us distort the truth and bend the law to
their benefit. There are people who hide from the truth and their own character
flaws behind what their dollars can hire in legal counsel. Some manage to
go about their lives in total denial and prance around in a false sense
of victory. A simple reality thus remains, in the game of life and love,
as my Mom says, "Winning builds confidence (yet, if you gave it your best
shot, kept your dignity, integrity and abided by the rules), losing
builds character." I say, thank God for Mother's wisdom. Let us all
be true to ourselves and be mindful of our "character" and of course, have
a happy new year one and all!
Feel free to e-mail me reactions, comments
and or suggestions for ideas to ponder. Contact me at
Gretheline@aol.com or through Carousel
Productions. |
