Charmed
Life
Gretheline
Genciana Ramos-Bolandrina
A
Woman
"Be very careful if you make
a woman cry, because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man's
rib. Not from his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior,
but from the side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected, and next to
the heart to be loved."
My friend Cathy Alviso sent this to me via
e-mail, said to have been written in the Hebrew Talmud, the book where all
of the sayings and preaching of Rabbis are conserved over time. Of course
it came with the usual "pass this on" (and surely it must have made its rounds)
but it states specifically to "all exceptional women that you know . . .
and to men so they know the value of a woman."
What is the value of a woman? That's a loaded
question. Would it be in terms of riches, beauty, accomplishments? Maybe
fame? I think of exceptional women, not even venturing far to the famous
ones I admire mostly, like Helen Keller, Mother Teresa and Isabella Ward
or celebrities like Helen Hunt, Sandra Bullock, Sheryl Crow and Susan Tedeschi.
But close to home, to my heart. My maternal grandmother (Inno) Juanita Pinugu
Luyun of Reina Mercedes, Isabela, who turned 90 last June. My paternal
grandmother, Ingracia Collantes Ramos who died in 1968; I unfortunately didn't
get to know her, there are no memories of her in my mind. Just the fondness
in my heart, that she bore and shaped my Dad into what he has become. "Auntie
Ko" Maternal great Aunt Concha Telan Luyun, never married, never had kids
but loved us like we were her very own. My own mother Estrella (retired Master
teacher II) who can make anything and everything under the sun! My other
mother Teotima Zamoras Barcinas Bolandrina (Operating Room Nurse to this
day at Metrowest Medical Center, Framingham Union Campus) who can outrun
any medical student once "scrubbed." My Aunt and Godmother, Teofista C. Ramos,
a retired school principal. My Ate Grace, fluent in Ibanag, Tagalog, English
and Japanese. My younger sisters (Dolly, Chiqui, Con and Jing), each with
distinct qualities that I adore, my sister-in-law JoAnn Marie Bolandrina
(we share a bond), my daughters Jessica and Lilly for the woman they will
become, my friends (Aloma, Alma, Phem, Vangie, Cecil, Liza, Ning, Nora, Millie,
Dorie Ann, Mariesol, Baves, Evita, Eden and Ching) and other barkadas. The
Titas I admire at Iskwelahang Pilipino (IP) Tita Cris Castro, Tita Patty
Yusah, Tita Ging Endriga, Tita Myrna Liwanag, Tita Carmen Boucher, Tita Dolly
Marmol. The elegant ladies in the Filipino-American social and civic circles
Tita Ching Legarda, Tita Loida Nicolas-Lewis, Tita Linda Barranda, Tita Linda
Ravenscroft, Mary Mallari, Tita Flora Inonog, Tita Cecilia Heredia. And closer
still to my heart, my soul sistah, Rosemarie Palis-Umali. Each and every
one has touched my heart and life in a positive way. Each and every one an
inspiration. All together a collective treasure of wisdom, talent, tenacity,
courage, humor, loyalty, femininity, tenderness, strength, kindness, humility,
ingenuity, entrepreneurship, charity, leadership, artistry, class and survival.
To understand the value of a woman, one must,
I assume, know the value of tears. What price tears? Though I may have shed
many or less than what others have, as is life, tears are precious. From
another e-mail that made its rounds, it states that tears are a woman's "way
of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her loneliness,
her grief, and her pride." It further states that "Women have strengths that
amaze men. They carry hardships, they carry burdens but they hold happiness,
love and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want
to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They
fight for what they believe in. They stand up for injustice. They don't take
'no' for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go
without so their family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened
friend. They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and
cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a new marriage. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They have
sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think
there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken
heart." There are, nonetheless, women in my life I associate tears with but
not the happy kind. And fortunately, I've come to realize that they are not
worth the precious time you may spend reading this piece nor the tug of heart
I will endure to write about them. So, I leave it at that. I pray that one
day, these women realize their own self-worth and allow for enlightenment.
Be the source of light to shine upon others. Women and tears, like water
for chocolates. Green mango to a pinoy ex-pat.
For whatever it's worth, when I forwarded
the article on women to my husband Joe, he responded with "...you made me
think how Jesus was stuck in the ribs, and didn't he bleed wine? (or something?)
You're more than a rib, you're the heart in its harbor!" Said from a man's
perspective, the one who promised in front of close friends and family (1991),
bigger circle of friends and family (1992) and in a private ceremony (2004)
to take me, as his lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, for better
or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love
and to cherish; all the days of our lives. A promise, a vow. That will be
another Charmed Life writing in the future. For now, who am I to disagree?
Feel free to e-mail me reactions, comments
and or suggestions for ideas to ponder. Contact me at
Gretheline@aol.com or through Carousel
Productions. |
